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The Albatross sketch is a sketch that appears in "Intermission," the thirteenth episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus. It is also a routine that was usually performed during their live shows.


At the cinema, a man in a ice-cream girl's outfit (John Cleese) holds an ice cream tray with an albatross inside. A person (Terry Jones) asks for choc-ices but the man tells him that he only has the albatross. The person asks what flavour it is and the man tells him that it's a seabird and, as such, isn't any flavour. The person asks if it comes with wafers, to which the man, again, objects. After being told the cost, the person buys one and the man starts promoting "gannet on a stick".

An intermission titlecard appears before it is blown up. After some adverts, the person turns to the camera, holding the albatross, and introduces a policeman near Rottingdeans.

Other uses[]

In the sketch as immortalised in the movie Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl, a man (Cleese), dressed as a cigarette girl with a strap-on sales case, wanders through the audience offering a (stuffed) albatross as if it were a normal part of the venue's concessions. An audience member (again, played by Terry Jones as a bowler-hatted and suited older gentleman) then approaches the cigarette girl in the middle of one of the aisles and attempts to purchase ice cream choc ices from him, but the only thing the cigarette girl has to offer is the albatross. The audience member inquires as to the flavour of the albatross, to which the girl protests, "It isn't any bloody flavour!" or "It's bleedin' albatross flavour!" (the responses tended to vary from show to show). The audience member tries then to ask if he gets wafers with it, to which the cigarette girl replies "Of course you don't get fucking wafers with it, ya cunt!" Finally, when the audience member asks for two albatrosses, the girl gets upset and replies, "I've only got one, you cocksucker!" At this point, The Colonel (Graham Chapman) runs onstage and demands that the sketch be stopped because of "filthy" language, and that the audience member get onstage and join Arthur Nudge (Eric Idle) in the next sketch, Nudge Nudge.

The sketch from Live at the Hollywood Bowl is also well-remembered for Cleese's entrance and initial trek down the aisle, as onlookers who are possibly intoxicated or under the influence of illegal drugs yell out all the lines of the sketch in which he is about to perform. He grows visibly more and more irritated until finally he turns around mid-aisle to address one patron, "You're not supposed to be smoking that!"

In an early version of the albatross sketch on the 1974 album Monty Python Live At City Center, the cigarette girl's ranting is interrupted by the Colonel right after he calls the audience member a cunt for asking what flavour the albatross is.

External links[]

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