Camp Square-Bashing is a sketch that appears in "How to Recognise Different Parts of the Body," the twenty-second episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus. It also appears in And Now for Something Completely Different.
Synopsis[]
The interviewer with a hook (Michael Palin) presents the Derbyshire Light Infantry who will show a "precision display of bad temper."
A group of soldiers chant in unison: "My goodness me, I am in a bad temper today all right, two, three, damn, damn, two, three, I am vexed and ratty. Two, three, and hopping mad."
The interviewer then presents the Second Armoured Division who will perform "swanning about."
A sergeant calls out "squad. Camp it... up!" and the group of soldiers perform all together, a chant accompanied with strutting and camp actions: "Oooh get her! Whoops! I've got your number ducky. You couldn't afford me, dear. Two three. I'd scratch your eyes out. Don't come the brigadier bit with us, dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy. Whoops, don't look now girls, the major's just minced in with that dolly colour sergeant, two, three, ooh!"
ANFSCD Version[]
The Colonel stops the previous sketch, Hell's Grannies, for being too silly and suggests showing a film depicting precision drilling. To his dismay, the film shown is of the "swanning about" routine.