Election Night Special

Election Night Special
Series	2
Episode	It's a Living
Previous	Marriage Registry Office

Election Night Special is a sketch that appears in "It's a Living," the nineteenth episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.

It parodies the coverage of United Kingdom general elections, specifically the United Kingdom general election, 1970 on the BBC by including hectic (and downright silly) actions by the media and a range of ridiculous candidates. A somewhat different version of the sketch (leading into The Lumberjack Song) was also featured on the Monty Python Live at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane album.

Synopsis

Monty Python’s Election Night Special

Full sketch

A very excited linkman (John Cleese) introduces the election night special. After knocking a large bee out of his ear, he hands us over to James Gilbert at Leicester.

James (Michael Palin) explains the scene. On the left of the Returning Officer is Arthur Smith (Cleese), the Sensible candidate, and his agent (Palin). On the right is Jethro Q. Walrustitty (Graham Chapman), the Silly candidate with his agent (Eric Idle) and his wife (Carol Cleveland). The Returning Officer (Terry Jones) announces the results. Arthur Smith - 30,162 and Jethro Q. Walrustitty - 32,108.

The linkman asks Norman (Palin) what he made of that. Norman, also very excited, says that the results are largely as he predicted except that the Silly Party won. He thinks this is mainly due to the number of votes cast. Gerald (Idle), in front of a "swingometer", says that there's a swing to the Silly Party but he doesn't say how big a swing. George (Jones), in front of another "swingometer", explains how there's a big swing to the Silly Party and another big one to the Sensible Party and a tendency to wobble up and down in the middle because the screw's loose. Alphonse (Chapman) can't think of anything to say. Eric (Terry Gilliam) can't add anything to Alphonse's statement. Colin (Ian Davidson) says that this is the first time he's ever appeared on television. The linkman hands us over to Luton.

At Luton, there are three candidates. Alan Jones (Chapman), the Sensible candidate, Tarquin Fin-Tim-Lin-Bin-Whin-Bim-Lin-Bus-Stop-F'Tang-F'Tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel (Palin), the Silly candidate and Kevin Phillips-Bong (Jones), the Slightly Silly candidate. The Returning Officer (Idle) announces the results. Alan Jones - 9,112, Kevin Phillips-Bong - 0 and Tarquin Fin-Tim-Lin-Bin-Whin-Bim-Lin-Bus-Stop-F'Tang-F'Tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel - 12,441.

The linkman hands us over to Norman. Norman explains how highly significant the result is as Luton is normally a very sensible constituency. Gerald has worked out the swing but it's a secret. The linkman wonders how the swong is. Norman has got the swong in a box. He says that it's looking fine. The linkman then wonders what the swang is. Alphonse says it's 29% up over six-hundred feet but a little soft around the edges. Before Alphonse can say where, the linkman asks Spike what he makes of the nylon dot cardigan and plastic mule rest. Spike (from off-screen) says it doesn't exist. Norman then says that the swong has choked itself to death. George believes the election is heating up. Eric can't add anything to that. Colin tries to mug the camera but the linkman interrupts him and says that they're just about to get another result.

At Harpenden, in addition to the Silly candidate, there is an independent Very Silly candidate who may split the vote. The Returning Officer (Cleese) announces the results. Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzz (Idle), the Silly candidate - 26,317, James Walker (Palin), the Sensible candidate - 26,318 and Malcom Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday Pop Pop Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable Whinny Argot Edward Harris Whoop Mason Chuff-Chuff-Chuff Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert We'll Keep a Welcome In The Shot Shot Shot Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin Squeak Tiger-draws Pratt Thompson Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head Darcy Carter Horn Pussycat Don't Sleep In The Subway Barton Mannering Hoot Whoop Smith, the independent Very Silly candidate - 2.

Norman has just heard from Luton that his aunt is ill, possibly from gastroenteritis. Gerald says that if this were repeated over the country, it would get very messy. Colin tries to mug the camera for the last time but, again, the linkman interrupts him. He brings us up to date with a few results we may have missed:

• Engelbert Humperdinck has taken Barrow-in-Furness, a gain from Ann Hayden-Jones and her husband, Pip.
• Arthur Negus has held Bristols (Not a result but a bit of gossip).
• Mary Whitehouse has taken umbrage.
• Wales is not swinging at all.
• Monty Python have held the credits.

The credits then roll over the presenters talking behind-the-scenes as a caption saying "NO CHANGE" flashes on the screen.

The candidates and their numbers

Leicester:

• Arthur J. Smith (SENSIBLE) - 30,612
• Jethro Q. Walrustitty (SILLY) - 32,108

Luton:

• Alan Jones (SENSIBLE) - 9,112
• Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel (SILLY) - 12,441
• Kevin Phillips-Bong (SLIGHTLY SILLY) - 0 (naught)

Harpenden:

• Mr Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (SILLY) - 26,317
• James Walker (SENSIBLE) - 26,318
• Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (sound effect of horse whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (blows whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, then 'whoop') Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) 'We'll keep a welcome in the' (three shots, stops singing) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-drawers Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton Mainwaring (hoot, 'whoop') Smith (VERY SILLY) - 2

Other results:

• Engelbert Humperdinck gains Barrow and Furness from Ann Haydon-Jones and her husband Pip.
• Mary Whitehouse taking Umbrage, which the presenter claims will cause a bit of trouble.
• Not a result as such, but Arthur Negus holds Bristols. (Bristol is a city, bristols is slang for breasts.)
• Wales isn't Swing at all; no surprises there according to the presenter.
• Monty Python holds the Movie credits, which then start.

Notes

• Among other changes: The live version at Drury Lane gave a much shorter name to the Very Silly candidate in Harpenden and changed some of the first syllables of Tarquin's surname, making it Fin-tim-lim-bim-(brief pause)lim-bim-bim-bim-bim. Sensible Candidate James Walker became Jeannette Walker, and Silly Candidate Jethro Q. Walrustitty was referred to as Jethro Q. Bunn Whackett Buzzard Stubble and Boot Walrustitty ("Bun, Whacket, Buzzard, Stubble and Boot" was an early name considered for what became "Monty Python."). Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzz was also referred to as Mrs rather than Mr.

• The changed name for the aforementioned Very Silly candidate was "Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Blackpool Rock Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable Brrroooo Norman Michael (rings bell) (blows whistle) Edward (sounds car horn) (does train impersonation) (sounds buzzer) Thomas Moo... (sings) "We'll keep a welcome in the..." (fires gun) William (sound of Whoopee whistle) "Raindrops keep falling on my" (weird noise) "Don't sleep in the subway" (cuckoo cuckoo) Naaoooo... Smith."

• Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel later made another appearance in the third season's Spot the Looney sketch.
• The line "Arthur Negus has held Bristols. That's not a result, that's a bit of gossip" is based on the fact that in Cockney rhyming slang, "Bristols" means breasts: "Bristol City" rhymes with "titties."
• When the episode aired, two scenes were cut from the sketch
  • An interviewer (Palin) interviewing Jethro Q. Walrustitty, who answers in various silly tones and accents.
  • An interviewer (Chapman) interviewing Kevin Phillips-Bong, who believes his great failure is a success. He then does a bong sound effect as the psychiatrist milkman passes by on his float, still containing the "It's the Mind" presenter

External links

• "Election Night Special" script