Fire Brigade is a sketch that appears in "The All-England Summarize Proust Competition," the thirty-first episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Synopsis[]
Mrs Little (Terry Jones) tries to call the fire brigade, but the fireman (Michael Palin) rudely tells her that she has the wrong number and hangs up. It turns out the firemen are being lazy, with another one (Eric Idle) complaining how the phone hasn't stopped ringing all day. The phone rings again, and another fireman (actor uncredited) tells the first fireman to take it off the hook and he does so.
Mrs Little just hears buzzing and tells her son Mervyn (John Cleese) that she can't get the fire brigade. He tells her that he'll do it while she plays the cello to keep their hamster alive. He calls the operator, who just engages in survey with him, including his shoe size in which he's a size 8.
His mother soon comes back out, telling him that the hamster's dead. He prepares to go upstairs to mope, but is then told that it was a bungalow. Mrs Little goes to the phone to explain the situation before being asked about the same survey, including her shoe size which she's a size 3. She then asks Mervyn if the Boys' Brigade would do, but he shouts out that they are useless and his mother then relays the news to the operator before ending the call.