Penguins/BBC Programme Planners is a sketch that appears in "A Book at Bedtime," the thirty-eighth episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Synopsis[]
A presenter (John Cleese) introduces the idea that penguins may actually help scientists "fathom the uncharted depths of the human mind". Professor Ken Rosewall (Graham Chapman) presents his theory that the penguin is more intelligent than the human being, with such proof as the penguin's brain is smaller than a human's and therefore will still be smaller even if the penguin is the size of a human. Another scientist Peaches Bartkowicz (Michael Palin) theorises that the penguin would have to be 66 feet tall to have the same brain size as a human, and walks over to a giant penguin.
Professor Rosewall calls this the 'Waste of time theory' but presents more evidence, including the fact that in IQ tests, penguins scored worse than primitive human subgroups, but better than BBC programme planners. However, Rosewall suggests one particularly dim programme planner may have lowered the average score, and the screen cuts to black with the words 'you can say that again'.
Dr Lewis Hoad (Eric Idle) explains the unfairness that the penguins aren't educated. The scene cuts to another scientist reading questions to penguins in their own environment - in a zoo enclosure. The problem of the environment barrier has been solved, but not the language barrier. Therefore, the next experiment is asking penguins and a group of non-English-speaking humans the same questions in the same environment. To no one's surprise, the humans and penguins score equally, and using this study, the BBC has decided to replace their higher-execs with penguins. Animations shows penguins taking over positions of power around the world.
