Police Helmets is a sketch that appears in "Hamlet," the forty-third episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Synopsis[]
The policeman (Michael Palin) asks John Dull (Graham Chapman) what he's wearing on his head. John answers 'a helmet', and the policeman points out the number on his helmet, proving it is an authentic Metropolitan Area policeman helmet. He then crosses the road, stopping the traffic and slaps Mrs Edgeworth, takes her armchair and sits down next to John, telling him more about his authentic policeman helmet.
He starts talking about the Tsar's private army's helmets and looks for some paper to draw it on, stealing some out of a passer-by's briefcase. He nicks another's pen, and draws the shape of the helmet. He spots two ladies sitting on a bench and asks John if he'd like some lunch. He goes up to them, takes their lunch for forensic examination because it might have been used as a murder weapon, and joins back with John. He leaves again to get some beer, smashing glass and setting off an alarm offscreen, and sits back down with two bottles of beer. As he begins to talk about helmets more, the camera pans away to a couple across the street, making out on the pavement.