Secret Service Dentists is a sketch that appears in "Owl-Stretching Time," the fourth episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.

Synopsis[edit | edit source]

Arthur Lemming (Eric Idle) goes to a bookstore to buy a book, but the nervous bookseller, Stapleton (John Cleese), insists that he has no books for sale and tries to dismiss him until Lemming says he was told to come there.

The bookseller tries to speak in code, which is lost on Lemming, who then supposes that something is going on, which the bookseller and another man with a gun insist is untrue. When Lemming asks for a copy of An Illustrated History of False Teeth, the bookseller pulls a gun, asking how much he knows and accuses him of being from the British Dental Association.

An armed Lafarge (Michael Palin) enters and has Stapleton drop the gun and interrogates him on the location of the fillings. This goes on until Van Der Berg (Dick Vosburgh) enters with a nurse (Carol Cleveland) and holds up Lafarge and Stapleton, revealing he is not on either side.

Brian (Terry Jones) then enters with a bazooka and holds them all up and demands to know where the fillings are until the Big Cheese (Graham Chapman) enters and begins giving a speech until they all decide to break for lunch. Lemming goes to a phone to report these events to the British Dental Association.

Lemming is soon shown, wearing dentist garbs, with a patient, telling the camera that he knew something was going on. The Big Cheese made two mistakes. One, not recognizing Lemming, Arthur Lemming, Special Investigator, British Dental Association. And second, by the time he got back from lunch, he had dentists waiting for them in the broom cupboard before saying his farewell and for the viewer to keep their teeth clean. After what felt like a title scene, an announcer (Idle) says, 'It's a man's life in the British Dental Association.' The Colonel (Chapman) soon demands the show to end.

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