The Lumberjack Song with the Austrian Border Police is a sketch from Episode 1 of Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus, based on a sketch from "The Ant, an Introduction", the ninth episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Franz Schultz (Michael Palin) walks off into the forest, in a lederhosen, as he expresses his love for lumberjacks. His best girl comes beside him as he starts to sing a song about the joys of being a lumberjack. He is backed up by Austrian Border Policemen. As the song progresses, he starts to sing more about crossdressing and transvestism. Eventually, his best girl leaves him and the policemen pelt him with rotten fruit.
A letter protests against the sketch. The writer of the letter, Colonel Heinrich von Wallaby, states he knew many lumberjacks and only 70% were transvestites. Some of the lumberjacks also formed relationships with farm animals. He also knew two weightlifters who dressed as kangaroos and performed intimate acts on the trampoline.
In an animation by Terry Gilliam, the letter is shot by a war soldier. A photographer then takes pictures of him and many other events. One of the landscapes he takes a picture of, is eaten by a army officer. He then rings like a timer and trumpets come out of his ears. An explosion happens and we cut to his now headless profile with a sign sticking out of his head saying "DA BAYERISCHES RESTAURANT STÜCK" (English: THE BAVARIAN RESTAURANT SKETCH).