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The Smuggler is a sketch that appears in "Man's Crisis of Identity in the Latter Half of the 20th Century," the fifth episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.


A nervous man (Michael Palin) struggles to convince an officer (John Cleese) that he is not smuggling clocks from Switzerland. Eventually, he gives up and admits that he is indeed smuggling clocks and shows them to the officer, who does not believe him and dismisses him.

A vicar (Eric Idle) then enters and is immediately taken away for a strip search.

To discuss the implications of the sketch, a chairman (Terry Jones) speaks with a duck, a cat, and a lizard, which do not answer. People on the street are them interviewed about smuggling, including a man (Cleese) who goes on a rant about nobody gone abroad should be allowed back, eating squirrels and claims he ain't a racialist until a knight (Terry Gilliam) hits him in the chest with a chicken, as he covered his head. A woman (Carol Cleveland) says it's silly to ask a lizard and should be asking Margaret Drabble. Sandy Camp (Idle) says customs are quite necessary and that they're doing quite a good job before returning to his chess game with his friend (Uncredited actor), just as incessant banging is heard at the door.