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Tobacconist's is a sketch that appears in "Face the Press," the fourteenth episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.


The camera zooms out from an advertisements board to a customer (Eric Idle) who enters the shop sketchily. He greets the shopkeeper (Terry Jones) and asks about an advert, "Small white pussycat for sale" winking madly, and the shopkeeper tells him how it's housetrained. The customer confusedly goes back to the advertisement board and asks about the advert for the "Chest of drawers." The shopkeeper points to a chest of drawers in the corner and the man returns to the advertisement board, sees the "Pram for sale. Any offers." ad. The shopkeeper shows him a green pram. The customer goes back to the board, and asks about the "Babysitter" ad, and then the "Be a blood donor." ad. The shopkeeper annoyedly shakes his head at the customer and the customers asks him "which one is it?" He nervously hands him an advert "Blonde prostitute will indulge in any sexual activity for 4 quid a week." The customer replies puzzled "what does that mean?"

A man (John Cleese) in a smart suit strides into the shop, buys a newspaper and leaves.